Somethings are meant to fall apart…

Today I feel am not me anymore.. I’m not even half of what I was… I’ve changed… As if you flipped my world upside down..I’ve changed a lot… But Do you love this “me”? I don’t know….

6 months back….

6 months back,,,I was someone who didn’t give a damn about anybody,anything… There existed no worry about future or past… There existed no love or care… There existed no human I gave a damn about…

Cigar,Weed,liquor, friends, flings, fake relationships…a total bitch – this was me, 6 months back…

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Then you happened in my life….my guardian angel….

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Yeah, you did exist in my life from past 2 years…I have shared my hearts out over messages with you then… Most of that 2 years,we stayed up talking to each other till 4am almost everyday yet pretended to be strangers to outside world…

6 months back after you returned from your vacations,things changed drastically… For both of us…From “you” and “me” things started getting into “us” way…

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The way we started connecting to each other emotionally is something I can’t explain… Every day we spent till date… Every small details of our lives… Every embarrassing,,gross,,funny,, sad,,happy,,bitter,,breath taking,,heart breaking truth about each other was shared… – that’s why we fell for each other….

An untold promise to take another person’s secret to grave,,to keep it safe…blind trust that the other person ain’t gonna judge…no care,about other person bitching around about another,existed..a hope that other person would definitely be there to pick another when on knees… – that’s how we grew closer to each other…        

I’ve met a million people before you came into my life…but what u do to me is ethereal… I was not “mummy’s baby” or “daddy’s princess” nor was I ”
Brother’s sweetie “….in eternity I didn’t manage to have more than 3 friends… Am extremely non-social,antihuman and an utter benevolent kinda person I was…but then I wanted to be something to you..something special… Someone who you would consider… You never tried to change me…you loved the bitch I was… But I wanted to change myself… Something into what wouldn’t put you through shame…something nice and better than what I was then…

And today… Am a person with feelings,tears,smiles and laughs…all because of you… A better person than I was for sure…

Everytime I look at you,i wonder what have you done to me…what would I be without you…
Your smiles are so infectious!!!… You induce joy and laughter everywhere you go!!!… You managed to keep everyone happy!!! It amazes me how could someone be so true…like you are someone who fell out of all those fairy tales… So damn handsome… So loving.. So caring.. So perfect… So mine!!!!

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I am the darkest version of you… You light my world… You are trying to pull me from my darkness into a world so beautiful,which I always thought,was cruel..

Your friends and everyone around you,who know you,told you,I don’t deserve you..that your way more worth than me…they told you,I come from dark worse past which can destroy your future…they wanted you to believe that My presence can toxin your present and your entire life can just be suffocating with me in it… They warned you that I might just leave you hurt and hanging any time…
You chose to deny them all and stand by me…

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How worthy of your trust I am,I don’t know… How far will I stay with you,I don’t know… How long will I be loyal to you,I don’t know… How long can you stand me, I don’t know…

Anytime this beautiful world you lit,can catch fire and everything then left will be me,in ashes… Anytime you are free to leave… Anytime you are free to do anything… You despot our lives… And I respect and accept your decision without second thoughts…

One thing I wanna tell you,time and again,is that I truly fell for you and all this time I was true to you… My feelings for you weren’t fake…my tears weren’t fraudulent…my care wasn’t pseudo…or  My love for you wasn’t sham…

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You stay or not…your memories and way of life,you thought,is gonna stay with me forever and always…

You may or might not be mine…but I’ll be yours forever… Nobody can or will ever replace your place in my life… You are my first and last true love…

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Everyday I’ll be falling in love with you just the way I did on our first day… Even when I won’t be able to see you everyday beside me,,even when your hands won’t be able to play the strings the same way and even when crowds don’t remember your name,,I’ll love you as I do today… I will stay this foolish for my rest of eternity and wait for your smile to reach your eyes from your cheeks when you look at me as they do today….

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